we’re on a break
February 19th, 2010 | Written by hurricanic
Currently…I hate my dog. He has been a royal pain in my arse for the last couple weeks. At first I blamed myself, as I’ve heard dogs pick up on all sorts of things in their owners. I figured with my heightened sense of fear regarding the rapist at large, he might be reacting to my anxiety somehow. He has been nothing short of neurotic. Now, I know most of you who know the pup would argue he’s BEEN neurotic for quite some time. Whatever. To that I say, if he’s BEEN neurotic, then we need a new word for what he is NOW. For crying out loud, he’s out of control.
I’ll spare you the details of the poop I found in my basement a week or so ago…or his inability to sit still at night, choosing instead to pace and whine and pant for hours. I’ll jump, instead, to what I came home to on the last couple days.
Monday: he tried to get into one of the lazy susan’s in my kitchen, failing (thankfully) due to the child proof lock. He then knocked a basket off my countertop, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor. I walked back towards my bedroom and noticed he’d found his way into the main bathroom. Here, he managed to uproot my new floor vent register cover from its proper home and – while he was IN THE BATHTUB – knock all of the shampoo bottles off the bar upon which they rested. There were also two piles of fresh vomit on my new dining room rug. Awesome.
But not as awesome as Tuesday.
Tuesday: he successfully got into the lazy susan, breaking the childproof lock. The basket was once again knocked off the counter…this time torn to shreds and thrown about the dining room. The knife block that is tucked into the back corner of my countertops was on its side and half the knives were no longer housed in it. Two of the magnetic spice containers on the side of my fridge were on the countertop….containers, mind you, that were stuck to the top of the fridge. ALL of the magnets and photos and concert tickets and 5-year-plans I post on the front of my fridge? On the floor. Oh…and all of the floor vent registers were out. And…he had been in the shower again. And….the pillows were no longer on the couches in my living room. MY NEW COUCHES.
So Wednesday? I decided we should take a break. Between the weather and the rapist, he honestly just hasn’t been outside enough. But I knew with my social schedule these last couple nights and the way things were escalating, my house was likely to be destroyed – literally – if he was left on his own any more. So, I took him to Pete and Macs. I’m not sure yet when I’m picking him up. I’ve instructed the people watching him to run him into the ground, exhausting him physically to the point he will beg for my mercy upon his return to the palace he lives in here. I also want it to be spring ASAP so I can have sunshine and above freezing temperatures so I can continue to walk the snot out of him, leaving him so spent physically he won’t have the energy to tear up my house. I might also need to call the Dog Whisperer. Anyone have his number? And…I might need a good number for a vet who will get me doggie prozac. When is a puppy supposed to start acting like an adult dog? He’s seven-years-old, for crying out loud.
i wish i could say i am surprised. i am not.
the word i would use is impressed. the tub? really? vent registers? have you seen mcgruber? turn this dog into a television show.
sorry he’s turning your house upside down. but he is the most predictable dog for being unpredictable.
a break is a good idea. remember the chair? the poop incident years ago when you thought i had left you with the disaster? we don’t need more of that.
Went to the vet with Ginger yesterday and was told that since she is 9 now she should have the “senior dog” blood test done so they could watch for things that develop in “senior” dogs. Just think, two more years and Mr. K. can be classified as a senior………..from puppy to senior just that quickly with no adult time in between. Now that’s a thought………
You should check out kcdogrunners.com. They’ll wear him out.