for crying out loud
July 7th, 2009 | Written by hurricanic
The latest installment in this train wreck called my dating life is a doozie. Sit back, friends, and enjoy this one. I’ve taken the liberty to capitalize all the statements that need emphasis, just in case you miss them in the midst of all the other crazy things he said.
So last week a guy from Springfield, Missouri sent me an e-mail. Springfield probably isn’t ideal for distance, but I have a sister down there so I figured I would at least respond. Not a deal breaker. His profile said he was divorced. Still, not a deal breaker. (I need more information, but not a deal breaker immediately.) I did, however, in my second e-mail from him start doing the math in my head. He said he has two children, 17 and 14. Again…not a deal breaker, though I am overwhelmed at the idea of jumping from singleness to stepmotherhood with two teenagers that probably would hate my guts. The math, however, is important here because his profile said he’d been married for 20 years. Hmmmm….
I’ve never been one to beat around the bush, so I replied with the following e-mail:
“…(random small talk and hellos and pleasantries)…
I am not one to really beat around the bush, so I’m going to ask the question that keeps coming to the front of my mind. If it’s too personal, I apologize. Having dated a couple other men who were married before, I just think it’s something I need to ask. Do you mind telling me how long you’ve been divorced? Again, I apologize if it’s too much too soon. It wouldn’t have taken you long to figure out that I’m pretty honest like that. You either love it or hate it.
…(more small talk and witty farewell)…”
His response?
“Hi Kelly,
Let’s see, OUR DIVORCE SHOULD FINALIZE HERE IN ABOUT 30-45 DAYS, according to the courts. We have been separated for a little over a year. Though she and the children did not move out till about 5 months ago. I have been living in the basement for about a year. She decided to not keep the house so I did. We are still on speaking terms. There was nothing hateful about the divorce, just sad really. I feel I am ready to move on. It’s when I am able to pray that God would find someone for her that I feel totally free. I still consider her a good friend, but that is all we will ever be. Our only connection now are the children.
Yes my road has been rough the last year, but I knew that God would not leave me. THERE WERE DAYS WHEN I WISHED HE WOULD TAKE ME HOME. But He spoke very clearly to my heart that this too shall pass and a new day will come. He was, and is always right.
So here I am, speaking to a lovely young lady about potentialy dating. Wow, I would really like that. I’m not sure where it will lead, but I am willing to invest time in it to see. Are you?”
Finally, everyone. Finally. My wildest dreams are coming true. I’ve been waiting and waiting to date a suicidal married man. Finally.
Excited to hear more…
it really is the stuff dreams are made of…springfield did you WRONG on this one, I’m afraid. Shame on Springfield. Shame.