yoga? oommmm…no thank you
August 4th, 2008 | Written by hurricanic
Last Thursday I headed up to the gym to try out a yoga class for the first time. It was mainly a decision the “universe” was making for me. Ever found one of those times unfold in your life when everything is pointing in one general direction? Allow me to count the pointings that took place leading me to yoga.
1) Three weeks ago, for the third time this year, I strained my lower back. Why? Oh, you gotta love this…MY HAMSTRINGS ARE TOO TIGHT. What?!? Yeah. That’s what I’m told. It’s why I keep finding myself with this back issue, apparently. Seems I’m not that flexible or something, and when I run or walk or bike or whatever, these stupid hamstrings get all tight and then I go to bend over or something and my back muscles have to work too hard to get me where I’m wanting to go. Stupid hamstrings.
2) I went to get a massage when my back went out this last go around, and she told me I should go to a chiropractor (which I’ve been resisting) and that I should definitely try out yoga.
3) I begrudgingly went to the chiropractor, and she after evaluating everything told me (ready?) I should try yoga. “Your hamstrings are way too tight.”
4) My personal trainer, without me even telling her about points two and three, mentioned when I had to cancel a session when my back was out that I should get a massage, and maybe even see a chiropractor, but definitely (ready?) should try out yoga. “Your hamstrings need some lengthening.”
5) And on top of everything, our summer intern came down with mono two weeks back, leaving me and my office manager extremely short handed. Even regardless of my hamstring issue before mentioned, from what I understand yoga is essentially a version of the “chill pill” that I was told I needed to “take” by one who “loves” me enough to tell me when I’m completely flipping out.
And so I headed to yoga.
I should mention I pulled a ten hour work day until a half hour before yoga class, headed to the treadmill first to get in some “real” excercise beforehand, ran for thirty minutes and arrived in class drenched in sweat with a heart rate somewhere in the mid 140s. I was, clearly, in no way “ready” for yoga.
Let me tell you that for the better part of 20 years I have been trying to whip this body into shape. I’ve been to spinning classes, I’ve spent more hours on an elliptical trainer than I care to recount, I know every back road of my neighborhood and the hills that work your arse the best, and I even fork out major cash to work with a personal trainer from time to time. NOTHING about working out has EVER been fun, relaxing, or about what I wanted. No pain, no gain. It’s really about as true as it gets for me.
So let me tell you when this petite little instructor turns down the lights and starts talking all soft and slowly through the mic my Nazi lift instructor usually screams through, I was a bit thrown. I was then, for an hour, told to “do what feels right for my body” and “if you want to” or “if you prefer” and “relax…breathe…find your center”. Want to know what I was thinking?
This is annoying.
My mind was racing about all that I had to do back home and I literally found myself wishing she would hurry up. The very act of laying down and breathing at the end raised my blood pressure higher than the treadmill did. I kept wondering if there was a way I could bolt for the door, but feared disturbing people’s “center”.
Annoying.
So I waited, and “breathed”, and when all was said and done and we’d said our “NAMASTE” (what?!?), I headed back to the treadmill afterwords and worked out my annoyance about yoga.
Yeah.
I just said that.
And I will have to find a better way to lengthen my hamstrings because there ain’t no way I’m headed back there. You can bet your yoga pants I’m serious about that.
Does anyone else think it’s funny that it looks like this woman doesn’t have a full length leg? I do.
perhaps, and i’m just suggesting, you should try a different yoga class?
but the fact remains that yoga is more than just a physical practice, so if moving medication (with obvious physical benefits) isn’t for you, perhaps you should find alternate means of lengthening your hamstrings…
wow…call me crazy but i really like yoga and the opportunity to slow the heck down.
plus, my hamstrings are too tight.
have you tried pilats? it’s MUCH meaner than yoga, but equally lengthening… we had a pilates sub a few wks ago, and i felt violent emotions when she got all yogi on us. ugh.
C’mon Kel, give it another shot! Yoga’s a “practice” which means it may take some time to get in the groove. Plus, the fact that you were so uncomfortable with the relaxing just may suggest that yoga’s exactly the thing for you!
first of all, i’m just catching up with the blogs.
secondly, why would you NOT go to dr. rice? seriously? he’s a genius.
third, yoga is a scam. if you need someone telling you to slow down you need to spend time with the One who created time. that’ll put things in order.
fourth, i was really good at the sit and reach back in the day. it wasn’t because i did yoga.
it was because i was short.
you can come touch your toes at my house anytime while i yell at you to do it faster. c’mon blondie, stretch out those hammies!